Dead and Hating It Read online

  “Now that we have the proof we needed to arrest George, or Nash I guess, Kurt is probably on his way to, well, wherever ghosts go when they move on. I’m going to miss him.”

  “Me, too. He was a good man, I think. No, I know he was.” Mike smiled, hugging Sage. “Now all we have to do is convince Tonio it’s time he moves on, too. Hell, who knows? Maybe they’ll meet in the afterlife and become friends there.”

  “I hope so, for both their sakes,” Sage replied.

  * * * *

  “What the hell?” Sage exclaimed. “What are you doing here, Kurt?”

  It was late Sunday morning and Mike and Sage had barely finished breakfast when the ghosts appeared—all four of them.

  Kurt smirked. “I thought I’d see what was for breakfast.”

  “Like you can eat,” Sage replied. Then he told Mike they had company, not that Mike couldn’t figure it out on his own from what Sage was saying.

  “Why are you here, Kurt?” Mike asked. “We proved that George murdered you.”

  “I know, and I almost got pulled away but…” Kurt shrugged, smiling at the other ghosts. “I have friends here who mean a lot to me so I fought to remain. Now, you’re stuck with me.”

  “I’m not sure stuck is the right word,” Mike replied when Sage told him what Kurt had said. He shook his head. “That attic is going to get real crowded if you and Jon keep taking in strays, Brody.”

  “No kidding. We might have to do something about it.”

  “Like what?” Sage asked, relaying Brody’s reply to Mike.

  “No clue, but we’ll figure something out.”

  “Sage,” Kurt said, “Does Mike know why George was killing us?”

  “He does.” Sage told him what Mike had found out.

  “Damn,” Kurt said softly when Sage finished. “Not that I feel sorry for him, but I guess I understand. Still, getting his revenge by murdering guys who made the bad choice to fall for him…” Kurt shook his head. “Why didn’t he go after the man who pushed him off the balcony, instead of us?”

  When Sage told Mike what Kurt had asked, Mike replied, “We may never know, unless his lawyer decides to go for an insanity defense for him. Then, it might come out.”

  “We should get out of here so you can get to work,” Brody said.

  “On a Sunday? Not happening,” Sage told him. “We’re both off so we’re going to laze around.”

  “Cleaning house and grocery shopping is not lazing,” Mike grumbled, but he was smiling so Sage knew he wasn’t upset. After all, it was how they always spent at least one of their days off, although it was usually Saturday—which hadn’t been an option yesterday, all things considered.

  “Do you want to get it touch with David sometime soon?” Sage asked Tonio.

  After a moment’s thought, Tonio shook his head. “It’s time for me to step totally away. My hanging around in his life worked for a while, when we needed each other’s support. Now he has Vern, which is what I wanted for him and he knows it. I’ll hang around with the guys—” he gestured at the other ghosts, “—and bug them, instead.” Grinning, he added, “And you two when, excuse the pun, the spirit moves.”

  Sage groaned. “Bad one, Tonio. Now get out of here, all of you. We’ve got work to do.”

  “What did Tonio say?” Mike asked when the ghosts vanished. When Sage told him, Mike groaned, too, then smiled. “I’m glad Tonio’s sticking around. I mean, I’m presuming he is.”

  “Yeah, I’m sure he is. I think he feels the same way Kurt does. He’d got friends here and who knows what it’s like on the other side.”

  “Not something I want to find out about anytime soon,” Mike replied dryly.

  * * * *

  “Are we really going to look for a new place?” Jon asked as soon as he and the rest of the ghosts returned home.

  “Look? Yes. Find? That’s another thing,” Brody replied. “We got lucky with this place.”

  “We could always go back to living in the police safe houses,” Jon said with a grin.

  “Umm, no. Too much moving around when they decided to use the one where we were squatting.”

  “There are probably plenty of buildings with basements they only use for storage, but that would feel too claustrophobic,” Tonio said. “Not that it’s exactly light and airy up here.” He began pacing. “Churches, theaters, schools, parking garages, no scratch the garages. Amusement parks. A hotel. A shopping mall. Have I hit any that might work?”

  “What about a barn?” Kurt asked. “It’s not like we’re tied to the city. I’ve seen lots of abandoned ones around. I even did a photo shoot about some of them, maybe three years ago.”

  Brody cocked his head. “Not a bad idea. At least we wouldn’t be competing with the living who might wonder why a room or area looks as if someone’s living there when it should be vacant.”

  “You can take us to some?” Tonio asked Kurt.

  “If they’re still standing, I think I can find them.”

  “Then let’s do it. Who knows, this might be the prefect answer,” Jon said.

  Chapter 9

  “What are you and Mike doing later Saturday night?” Brody asked the moment he and the rest of the quartet appeared in Sage’s office.

  “How late?”

  “Say around three A.M.?”

  “Sleeping, if we have any common sense at all,” Sage replied. “Why?”

  “We’re moving and we could use your help,” Jon told him. “We can get what we want out of the attic, but flying it fifteen miles? Uh-uh.”

  Sage cocked an eyebrow. “Dare I ask where you’re moving to?”

  “We found the perfect old barn,” Kurt said. “It’s in decent shape, more or less, and no one’s been using it for target practice and it hasn’t been vandalized—much. It’s all by its lonesome, the property isn’t for sale, or at least not that Brody could tell, and he did do a thorough search to be certain.”

  “It’s standing there, waiting for us,” Tonio added. “Honest it is, Sage.”

  Sage turned to his computer. “Give me the address.” Brody did. Sage ran his own search, which took more than fifteen minutes, before saying, “It belongs to a family who doesn’t want to get rid of the land because it was passed down from their grandfather. Who knows why? Maybe they’re hoping some big developer will decide it would be the perfect spot for a shopping mall or a housing development. If so, given where it is, I think they’re shit out of luck.”

  “Yes!” Tonio pumped a fist.

  “I presume you’d like us to rent a truck,” Sage said.

  “A small one,” Brody replied. “It’s not like what we have…okay, will be borrowing—” he made finger quotes, “—amounts to that much. Four beds, three battered tables and some chairs.”

  “What are you going to do about your cell phone and wireless access for your laptop?”

  “I checked it out. The Wi-Fi is a no-go, unfortunately. The phone worked because there’s a town not all that far away so there must be towers.”

  “One the size of a postage stamp,” Sage said when he brought up the address of the barn’s property on a map site—and the town about five miles from it. “Still, it explains why you got a connection.”

  “Yeah. It means I’ll be able to get on the internet if I have to.” Brody smiled guilelessly at Sage. “That is if Mike’s willing to keep paying for my plan.”

  “You know he will. Even more so, now, since you’ll be living in the boonies.”

  * * * *

  “They’re moving where? To a barn? Are they serious?” Mike said when Sage told him what the quartet was planning.

  “They seem to be. It’s not a bad idea when you think about it.” Sage went to their office, came back with his laptop, and showed Mike the location while explaining about the property. “There can’t be too many places in the city like where they’re living at the moment.”

  “Probably not. Okay, when do they want to do this?” Mike groaned when Sage told him, mutterin
g, “At least we can sleep in when we get home.”

  * * * *

  Sage and Mike played lookout while Brody, Jon, and Tonio transported what they were taking with them from the attic of the boarding house to the bed of the rental trunk. Being smarter than your average ghosts, as Brody had put it, they’d taken the beds apart so the pieces would fit through the attic window. They barely managed to squeeze two of the tables out. They decided they didn’t need the third one, anyway. Luckily, the mattresses were old enough they could be semi-rolled up to fit through it.

  “We’re going to set it up like a house, with a living room,” Brody said when Sage asked.

  “Besides,” Jon added, “since we’re using the horse stalls as our bedrooms, there won’t be room in them for anything more than the beds.”

  “This is going to be real interesting,” Mike commented once they were ready to leave. Since the cab of the truck was only large enough for him and Sage, the ghosts had flown on ahead and would meet them at the barn.

  “We’re in the middle of nowhere,” Mike said a while later when he turned off the highway onto a narrow, but thankfully paved, two-lane road. They passed two small farmhouses, then miles and miles of fields.

  “There,” Sage said, pointing to an almost invisible dirt road off to their left. It was obvious it was rarely if ever used, if the weeds growing down the center of it were any indication. Eventually they saw the barn ahead of them.

  It had been red, once upon a time. Now most of the paint had peeled off to reveal gray, weather-beaten wood. The roof was sagging, but still intact as far as Mike could tell. There were trees surrounding the barn on three sides, with a large, weed-filled field in front.

  “Not my idea of home-sweet-home,” Mike commented as he pulled the truck to a stop in front of the classic barn door.

  “But you’re not a homeless ghost,” Brody said after he and the others came through the door to greet them.

  “Thank God,” Mike said fervently when Sage relayed Brody’s words.

  “That doesn’t open…” Jon pointed to the barn door. “There’s one on the side that does.”

  Between them, the men and the ghosts, with the exception of Kurt, moved everything into the barn.

  “I feel totally useless,” Kurt said dispiritedly.

  “You’re our cheering section,” Tonio replied, giving him a fast hug.

  “Uh-huh. Go team, go,” Kurt muttered.

  “Louder and with feeling.” Tonio ducked when Kurt took a swipe at him then raced off, saying, “Catch me, if you can.”

  Kurt was right behind him as Tonio flitted around the inside of the barn.

  “Children, get your asses back down here. You can play later,” Brody shouted, amusement coloring his words.

  “Tonio and Kurt are goofing off,” Sage told Mike, who of course had no idea what was going on.

  “Kids…” Mike shook his head then went to get the toolkit he’d brought along, anticipating they’d need it, if for no other reason than to put the beds together again. When they had, he took a good look at the barn’s interior. There were six stalls along one wall, and a large hayloft that covered half the upper part of the barn. The majority of the barn floor was filled with pieces of rusted farm machinery, a large trough which had undoubtedly been used for watering the animals who had occupied the stalls, and a couple of storage areas. Unsurprisingly, everything was covered with dirt and other debris.

  “You need curtains, and rugs,” Sage said.

  Brody snorted. “I think curtains might be a big give away that someone’s living here. Rugs on the other hand…”

  “We can hit up a near-new shop,” Mike said, when Sage repeated Brody’s comment. “I bet we can find a sofa, too. If you set up the living room in the hayloft, it’s less likely a casual passerby will know what’s going on.”

  “Somehow I think the beds in the stalls will clue them in,” Tonio said, grinning.

  “No kidding,” Sage replied, telling Mike why.

  “What if…” Mike carefully climbed up the rickety ladder to the loft. “Live up here. There’s plenty of room, and there’s two more storage areas you might be able to use as bedrooms.”

  Brody floated up to join him. “Tell him he’s right. They’re big enough they’d work perfectly,” he called down to Sage. “That is if Kurt and Tonio don’t mind sharing one of them.”

  Tonio grinned at Kurt. “I think we can deal.”

  For a moment, Kurt wondered how to take that before deciding Tonio only meant they would have no problem sharing a room. As long as there’s plenty of distance between the beds. He levitated up to take a look, telling Brody, “That one’s larger, so…”

  “Then let’s get everything moved up here.”

  The three ghosts did, with Kurt supervising. Brody made it very clear Mike and Sage could only watch. “If that ladder broke under one of you…”

  Jon chuckled. “Then we’d have to decide if it was an accident, or murder.”

  “Not funny,” Kurt groused, even as he joined in the ensuing laughter.

  Finally, everything was in the hayloft. By then it was well after five A.M. and the sun was coming up. Through Sage, the ghosts thanked Mike—and Sage—for their help, and then the humans headed home.

  “Time for us to get some sleep, too,” Brody said. “Tomorrow, well this afternoon, we can give the loft a good cleaning. That’s another plus to being up here, we can leave the mess down there as camouflage to hide the fact we’re living here.”

  “You know,” Kurt said as he curled up on his bed facing Tonio. “This being dead isn’t a bad as I expected. Of course I’d rather be alive, but with you guys around it’s definitely bearable, not to say nice in its own way.”

  Tonio chortled. “Sort of like Boy Scout camp, without the camp.”

  “Well, right now we seem to have the camp, too, but that’s fine with me.”

  “Yeah, I’m not complaining.” Tonio lay back, his hands behind his head. “In spite of how things turned for me, I am glad I stuck around.”

  “I am too. Brody and Jon are great, but if it was only me and them I’d feel like a third-wheel half the time.”

  Tonio turned to look at him, grinning. “But with me here, you have someone to torment.”

  “Hey. I haven’t tormented you…have I?”

  “I was teasing. It’s nice that you decided to stick around though, because I know what you mean about the third-wheel thing. They don’t do it intentionally, but it happens. It didn’t bother me too much at first because I had David, but that changed.” Tonio reached across the space between their beds to put his hand over Kurt’s. “Now I’ve got someone to do things with when they’re busy.”

  Kurt turned his hand, linking their fingers together. “You do. I’m not David, but I am your friend.”

  “I don’t want you to be David. He’s my past. The one I had before I died. It took me long enough to realize I had to move on—but not that way—and make a life of my own, so he could live his life with Vern. You’ve helped me do that.”

  Kurt smiled, squeezing his hand then releasing it “I think we’ve helped each other come to grips with what happened to us. Moving here, away from it all, is going to help, too.”

  “At Ghost Camp.” Tonio chuckled. “All we need is a campfire, some sticks, and marshmallows to make it complete.”

  “Right. We can’t eat, which now that I think about it, sucks.”

  “It helps us keep our youthful, svelte figures.”

  “No, I think being ghosts does that, which makes me glad I wasn’t plump and soft when I died. Can you imagine spending eternity looking like the Marshmallow Man from Ghostbusters?”

  “I never liked that movie when I was alive. I think I’d hate it now, all things considered,” Tonio replied, grimacing.

  “No kidding. I’ll pass on any of them, now. They always make the ghosts evil or sad.”

  “Not always. There’s Field of Dreams.”

  “Okay, I’ll give
you that one, and why are we discussing ghost movies?”

  Tonio shrugged. “Because?”

  “Maybe we should get some sleep, instead?”

  “Probably. We have to clean house tomorrow, and we don’t have a vacuum.”

  “You three have to. I’ll be my useless self,” Kurt said downheartedly.

  “It’ll come in time,” Tonio told him. “Honest. First a dust rag, then a broom, and pretty soon you’ll be hanging curtains on the windows.”

  Kurt laughed. “Suzy Homemaker I’m not. Besides, we can’t do that, remember.” He paused, then said, “Thanks for cheering me up.”

  “No problem. Between us, we’ll keep each other from going off the deep end when things get to us. Okay?”

  “Okay.”

  “Now go to sleep.”

  Kurt saluted. “Yes, boss.”

  As he fell asleep, his head on his arms, he smiled. He’s a nice man. I wish I’d known him before we died. Maybe things would have turned out differently. Okay, they wouldn’t have, because of David, but still a guy can dream.

  * * * *

  The first thing Sunday morning, Brody returned to the city long enough to ‘borrow’, as he put it, two old brooms and a dozen dust rags from the basement of the boarding house where they used to live. When he returned, they got to work cleaning the hayloft.

  As they did, Jon watched Kurt, who was watching Tonio sweeping some of the debris over the edge of the loft. Taking Brody aside, he said very quietly, “If I don’t miss my guess, Kurt’s interested in Tonio.”

  “Maybe,” Brody replied just as softly. “The problem is, does Tonio feel the same. He might have finally come to terms with David and Vern’s relationship. In fact, we know he has. But it’s still awfully soon for him to even consider being more than friends with Kurt.”

  “The same holds true for Kurt when you think about it. It’s only been a little over two weeks since he was murdered by a man he thought loved him. Is he rebounding, as it were?”

  Brody nodded. “Or wondering if he’s worth someone caring about him beyond friendship, after what George did to him. If it was me, and I was played the way he was, I’d definitely have my doubts.”